When the Fairytale Ends

Greetings gentle readers.

After nearly five years of  blogging pretty much all there is to blog in SL, I have decided to step away from the keyboard as a fashion blogger as I would like to focus my energies elsewhere. Making this decision was a hard one for me. I have really devoted a large portion of my SL/RL into it but ive come to a realization that its not enough to keep me here. As of currently, my logins are short and far between, which when you are a blogger, isn’t a good thing. You get behind and find yourself playing catch up. Used to be that I didn’t mind playing catch up, but more these days i’d rather unplug than plug in. Does this mean I will never post another blog ever again?. No, but for now I am complete. I’m finding that where life is directing me, isn’t towards the computer anymore, its outside to other avenues that I can channel myself into. That is where I might find my salvation.

To end this, I will just say Thank You 

GoFundMe

Hi there gentle readers.

I’m doing something that I have never done before; a GoFundMe page. I have opened up allot about my personal life(as in the last two posts) to you all. I wouldn’t have made this page, if it wasn’t needed.

My computer is basically my life right now and that life is slowly starting to stop working and crashes often. What I have currently is a laptop that is 4 years of age. I would much rather have a desktop that I could just simply replace a part, instead of having to replace all of it when it starts going.

I’m asking you all for help. I know that money doesn’t grow on trees & many cannot afford to give and believe me I understand that. Even if you can just share my GoFundMe page link with others, that would be a huge help. I know the amount seems exceptionally high, i’m looking at having one built and that was the minimum quote from a lot of places for a decent spec build.

My GoFundMe page is in my Real Life name so don’t be to shocked(lol).  My GoFundMe link.

Rather Be

Hello again gentle readers.

When I posed Saying Goodbye on August 26th, I thought I wouldn’t be posting again, but im coming back & want to explain why. I will start with somethings many of you do not know about me.

I suffer from intense depression & anxiety. I have tried to commit suicide numerous times. The last time put me into the ER and thus into hands that wanted to keep track of me to insure ‘recovery’. Since then I have been seeing a psychiatrist which even my best friend didn’t know about(till now, surprise!). I don’t go all of the time, just once and a while when I need to offload stuff onto a professional who can just be honest without the sugar coating. Today was a day that I went in for a check up as they never really force me to come in, they just ask that I make an appointment every 3 months to talk to somebody & update them on my progress or lack there of. I told her(my psychiatrist) about my recent revaluation to leave SL behind & push forward without looking back. To my surprise she wasn’t happy about but actually warned me against doing it. See, I have obsessive tendencies, so just cutting things off in the past has been a very bad idea. I often come back and I latch onto it more than I would have before. In the short time ive gone to her, I have been 100% honest to the point of letting her shine a light into any little part of my life. She knows how I am and how my brain works, almost better than I do. Even though I have little desire to login and feel lost when I do, its more than possible I might just sink back into that hole it took me so long to climb out of.

What she told me to was keep the door open. Don’t close it, don’t make it so you can’t come back if you really need to. Allow myself to breathe without worrying if I relapse what people will think of me and how that will affect me. I’m an incredibly sensitive person, always have been. Most of my decisions in life have been motivated by wanting people to be pleased with me. I know what she is saying. I understand it. It doesn’t change my happiness to still come and go in SL. I think I wanted to close the door so much, to stop by myself from pulling away from RL, but I don’t want to. I can have both and before I didn’t realize that. I had convinced myself it had to be one or the other. My hubby doesn’t care what I play on the computer, as long as im happy(& fix dinner).

I’ve never been good with others opinions of me. I am a rash go with my emotions, often crazy, type of person. I hide allot from people to protect myself. I am not perfect by far. I hope by sharing a piece of me that you didn’t know, you might understand me better. I can stand between both Worlds and feel that peace.

Rather Be

Smile; its easier than explaining why you’re sad.

Saying Goodbye

Hello gentle readers. This may be a lengthy post so I do apologize.  This will be a final post for me.

For the last 5 years, I have poured a large portion of my life, energy & time into SecondLife. This is my story.

When I started SL all those years ago, I was lacking a sense of purpose or structure in my life. I felt like I was always blowing in the wind, trying to hold onto something to anchor me. In short, I wanted stability & SL gave me that. I knew when I logged in who I was, what I was doing & I was setting goals around that. I would spend hours upon hours logged in. I would forget to eat, would barely sleep & cut off most of my human contact. I fell into a hole that I just couldn’t seem to climb out of. It look me nearly 3 and a half years to cut back on my extreme use of SL. I know now that is was my way of  escaping from the Real World; my safety net, my defense mechanism. I was safe from all the hurt, the pain, the frustration. Yet even in this sense of safety, there was no peace, no real feeling or emotion it provided me that would help me grow, mature. It would be the people I met within this Virtual World that would be the key to my lock.

I have had many friends come & go in SL. You meet somebody, you friend them. It takes a great deal of time to actually forge a real relationship with people though. It’s not as easy and hitting the ‘add friend button’.  For me there has only been one person that I can honestly say is my heart and has guided me to becoming a better person than I was yesterday; Kristy. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today. You’re truly my best friend, my angel.

I am getting married in October, on Halloween. While I have been doing small bits of planning, it suddenly hit me that, what I was without for so long, I had found. I found the peace, the safety, the love I needed; my anchor. I have never been happier. Everything that I once needed from SL, was now filled. I have had RL relationships while still being heavily into SL, but this time, this love has been so different for me. For the first time, I am honestly happy. Our love is easy, effortless and carefree. I can trust him, knowing he would never hurt me int he ways I have been so deeply hurt before.  I didn’t need to login to feel like I was accomplishing something anymore. I would take two week breaks from SL forgetting to sign in & when I did, it was to grab a blogger pack to store for later blogging. Years ago, that would have been impossible. Now its my reality.

I think of it as an arcade game that you love & can’t wait to play. You save up your coins in a bag, as many as you can, so that you can play it over & over again. Yet when you reach into the bag for another round, its empty and you fold the bag back up, put it into your pocket and leave. I had already folded the bag & put it into my pocket, I just hadn’t realized it was time to leave. My time is up in this Virtual World; as I shut off the lights and reach for the door I feel, not a sense of defeat, but a sense of peace. I can look back on my times here & smile without feeling sad. Closing the door on this part of my life is not my end, but my beginning. My story has only just begun. Goodbye my friends.

“We’re born naked & the rest is drag”-RuPaul

Summerfest’14: Exile & Baiastice

Hi gentle readers.

Summerfest 2014 is opening tomorrow, June 22nd, and runs till July 13th. This is an event you cannot miss. Well you could, but you would be totally bummed out.

Exile & Baiastice are participating. Exile with two stunning hairs, After the Rain & West Coast. Baiastice with two bikinis, Freedom and Caprice.  Check em out below <3

#byefelisha

  • Hairs-Exile(Kavar Cleanslate)-After The Rain in Pink Bubbles & West Coast in Pepper @ Summerfest’14 coming soon
  • Bathing Suits-Baiastice(Sissy Pessoa)-Caprice Monokini in Iceberg & Freedom in Green @ Summerfest’14 coming soon
  • Skin-The Skin Shop(theshops.resident) Deja in Tone 11 with Threaded Eyebrows(11) Black, Juicy Lipstick(11) Lush, Shimmer Eyeshadow(11) Onyx
  • Eyes-IKON(Ikon Innovia)-Vanity in Parchment

Exile for The Arcade

Hello again gentle readers.

The Arcade is a mere 1 day away and aren’t you just bursting with excitement?! I am!. Exile is participating with an adorable hooded dress with hair. If you’ve been following the Arcades site for photos, then you know there is a secret rare….that im about to let you all see. Hooray for whistle blowers!(thats a joke dont sue me).There are 16 of these little darlings with one super awesome rare to be had. There are 10 colors in both hooded dress HUD’s so I split them up. Check it all out below!.

First Snow-HUD
First Snow-HUD
First Snow-Glitter HUD(rare)
First Snow-Glitter HUD(rare)

Details

  • Dress & Hair-Exile(Kavar Cleanslate)-First Snow @ The Arcade on December 1st
  • Skin-League(Nena Janus)-Aria in Golden with Mocha makeup
  • Hands-Slink(Siddean Munro)-Elegant1